Whoa what’s that on your neck?!
*The strobe light flashing sporadic moments of the previous nights events begins
*You’re a junior ?
*Zzz
*A plastic gallon of Popov vodka pouring into a blender w frozen pink lemonade concentrate
*They’re coming over
*He’s 18
*Get in the car
*You drink BONG WATER?!
*I smoke cigarettes all the time
I was a freshman carrying around a small tupperwear cup full of frozen pink lemonade concentrate and vodka. This was actually the first night I ever got drunk and the first night I ever had KISSED a boy let alone any sexual physical contact. To have the blank innocent mind that I had with almost no filter again would be at this point like having a lobotomy, or like me at the bar last Tuesday.
In the den of ferocious mean girls:
Look my boobs are huge they are so swollen – as she plumps and pushes her boobs up in her bra. Joy was anything but joyful. A latchkey kid her blood already infected by her harbored decaying animosity toward her mothers notches on the bed post and almost gave no fux about herself. I heard a rumor from another mean girl without enough talent to be on cheer or dance team that one of her boyfriends friends went down on Joy and she had toilet paper in her cooch. Ever since that day, Joy was labeled a dirty TP slut.
*Strobe memory flash
*I’m inebriated in a small dirty low lit bathroom peeing forcefully into the toilet while Joy is in turning on the faucet in the bathtub.
I’m leaning heavily on Joy’s kitchen wall while the captain of the cheer team pours Popov vodka from a plastic 2 liter bottle into a loud buzzing blender with frozen pink lemonade concentrate. I snatch the 2 liter from her hands and begin to chug.
YOU WEIRDO!!
She laughs and grabs it back from me. The whole house smells like alcohol and citric acid, and my lips burn. Male voices approach from the back porch. I walk outside.
Youre a junior?
Ya.
You don’t look like a junior
Ya she’s a junior and I’m a senior.
Joy flings her lifeless arm around my neck
Marylin yells from the car
Get in the car!
Hop in the old beat up lowered champagne colored honda accord with 18″ tires. Tribe called quest blasting to the volume of distortion.
4 in the back boy girl boy girl.
3 in the front boy girl boy.
hotboxed… I begin to feel… nothing.
Oversized white shirts.
Khaki dickies.
chucks or vans.
baseball caps.
mixed hispanic.
tall skinny medium chubby.
This is North Long Beach.
Wooden stairs lead to a loft apartment located on top of an old garage warehouse overlooking a baseball field.
I have no fucking idea where we are but can only assume its somewhere in North LB bordering Compton.
Burgundy carpet, 2 shit colored couches n a lazy boy accessorized with mixed hispanic dudes and clouds of smoke, wood paneled walls.
I clumsily stomp into the bathroom.
ring around the bathtub
covered in dirt and hair… flash forward through a lifetime of disgusting bachelor bathroom images stored in my mind flipping like a 1900 flip card movie machine at Disneyland’s penny arcade… I am all too familiar with Disneyland in all aspects which leads me to a story for another time…
I feel like I want to throw up but I would never be such a pussy.
speaking of pussy
I try to hover the toilet with no success only plopping my drunk ass on this ‘who knows what’ covered seat immediately forcefully peeing.
Joy barges in slams and locks the door.
I have to clean up.
what?
she turns on the faucet to the bathtub, takes of her pants, one foot in the tub, legs spread, starts to rinse out her vagina.
at this moment I VIVIDLY realize… the rumors are true.
I gather myself and let her finish then begin to open the door and the knob continues to turn, the door swings open abruptly.
he grabs me and sweeps me off my feet but this is no romance.
LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE FUCKING PUT ME DOWN.
from the florescent bathroom lighting through a pitch dark door way pushing and pulling launched and crashed half on some other guy and half on a water bed.
split second later Joy lands elbow in my gut some guy shoves his tongue in my throat…
this is my first kiss.
2 guys 2 girls 1 water bed.
Joy is laughing.
I decide to not fight and go with it.
he pushes my head down.
he’s wearing a condom.
weird.
I suck it.
as soon as he is into it.
I push myself up like a ninja escape and run out of the room.
I’ve just had a revelation.
A lifelong defense mechanism so completely summed up in my next action.
I emerge from the pitch black doorway and make a bee-line for the bong placed in the center of the room.
pick up a lighter… this guy comes after me.
I lift the bong like a beer bottle and chug.
BONG WATER.
I always drink bong water.
WHAT THE FUCK?
leave her alone.
ya just fucking leave her alone.
I ask stoner #3 on the shit brown lazy boy…
you have a cigarette?
he hands me his lit Marlboro Red and I smoke.
holding the cigarette closer to my palm than the tip of my fingers.
You’ve never smoked cigarettes before have you.
Yes I have I smoke all the time, I smoke every day.
You’re holding the cigarette wrong. – as he reclines the shit brown polyester lazy boy.
YOU’RE holding it wrong… – nobody here knows anything you’re all retarded.
I stumble to the other side of the room.
plop on the couch and curl up in a ball.
WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY KEYS?!
I open my eyes …I can’t see anything its bright as fuck.
sun beams shine through the windows, dust and lingering smoke in the air.
3 Sublime looking dudes passed out on couches. Joy and Marylin and some guy psychotically scavenging the apartment for keys.
he shouts
WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY KEYS?!
I realize its morning which means its very close to the time that my mom is going to pick me up at Joys house for church.
Im in North Long Beach.
Enter the water bed room:
*strobe light flashes of last nights events.
I see something shiny… I look closer… I’m confused… I look closer… I’m trying to make out what this is… like the natives seeing the ships on the horizon coming to shore and not understanding what they are looking at… I’m doing the same i look closer… its translucent but slightly opaque… its cum. I had never seen this before in my life and I only JUST realized at that very moment what it was I was looking at… cum.
I hear voices like the teacher in the peanuts.
I feel like I’m in a diving bell.
head on the carpet sitting in what I now call childs pose.
Uh you have a hickey on your neck…
huh? shit.
somehow I made it back.
my mom is outside.
ya or something.
Monday back to school the hot guy on the Basketball team to asks me to Winter Formal.
I may have hyped this story up too much without delivering in a timely manner. However, still entertaining I hope.
So the saying goes: Don’t hang out with the TP slut unless you want to be a tormented falsely labeled “obsessed lesbian” .. or pregnant.
More young men to cum soon in “Yesterdays Tomorrowland: a Disney Story”
Until then… In the voice of John the country boy singer from the Real World: Los Angeles (1993)
“true story”
’tis a Good Mourning of Corpse
#sleepmyth
sleepmyth 